Peppermint and Mountain Dew
by br0flove
Summary: Do you have any idea how much it sucks to watch the guy you've loved for years hang off of someone else's arm? My names Kenny, and I'm hot for my best friend. K2. Mentions of Stendy.


Do you have any idea how much it sucks to watch the guy you've loved for years hang off of someone else's arm? No? Well, I do.

I have three major best friends in my life, well, two and a half, seeing as Cartman doesn't really count - even if he did he'd count for more than one person, considering the size of him, but that's beside the point. Stan is the more mature of us, mature in the aspect that when he wants to do something, he'll go right ahead and do it, sure he'll be a pussy about it at first, but he'll get there. He's strong, he's athletic, and he's really committed to us and to his girlfriend, Wendy. Cartman is the asshole of the four of us, he likes to taunt, tease and generally fuck up anyone's day, we'd get rid of him but he's been with us since we were just little kids, so that's difficult.

And then, there's Kyle. Kyle Broflovski. The smart one, the one who will fight through life with everything he's got, whether he's weak or strong. Kyle's the most opinionated one of us all, and honestly, the most selfish. He'll fight for what he believes him, and you'll be damned if you don't fight right along side him, but that's what I love about Kyle, I love his fight and his spirit - and I love him. That's right. I'm hot for my best friend, who's too stupid to see it because he's too busy hanging off of Stan - at least, when Wendy isn't.

It started when we were thirteen, just when we started _really_ experimenting. We'd go to someone's house, there would be girls, and there'd be boys, but most of all, there was a bottle and there was a circle. I remember vividly when the bottle landed on me, and when I spun it, green eyes widened back at me, the bottle landed on Kyle.

"Oh, _gross_, Kinny. You've gotta kiss the Jew!" Cartman's hysterical laughter filled the awkwardly silent room as I stared back at my best friend with a dry throat and chapped lips. I licked my lips and cleared my throat, pushing myself up on my knees.

"Whoa, whoa, Kenny you're not really gonna do it are you?" Stan piped up from beside Kyle, pulling his hat a little more down his head.

"It's the game, Stan, don't be a pussy."

Stan frowned and pushed himself behind Wendy, face turning a gruesome colour of green. "I'm gonna barf."

Kyle looked back at me with fear and anxiety in his eyes, but nevertheless, he pushed up like a goddamn soldier, and planted one right on me. It was fleeting, and it was awkward - but it was Kyle, and it was warm and tasted like peppermint and Mountain Dew.

And now, six years later, whilst I'm sat around this stupid pond, freezing my ass off, I get to watch Kyle sit with Stan and fuss as normal. Cartman is MIA, probably off somewhere with Bebe, which makes me wonder why Stan can't go hang out with Wendy - but now I'm just being selfish and bitter.

Kyle's constantly with Stan and I, it's rare to see the three of us apart, and even if we are, it's not for long, and it's usually because we're asleep. Stan is currently whining about Wendy's latest bitch fest, she wants to buy an apartment, she wants to start her life. I don't blame her, Stan. You go and start yours and let me get mine.

"Dude, are you even there yet?" Kyle asks, tilting his head in sympathy for his super best friend.

Stan shrugs his shoulders limply and sighs, a puff of air showing in front of him. I puff my own breath and grin at white smoke escaping my lips.

"We've been together for nearly seven years, Ky. If I'm not ready now, I don't think I'm ever gonna be ready, y'know? I mean I love Wends, but, this is a huge step!"

Kyle nods silently and looks over to me with narrowed eyes and a chin jolt in Stan's direction. I take a break from my dragon impersonation and take a squat beside Stan, hooking my arm around his large shoulders. "Look, Stan, if you wanna do it, do it, if you don't, then tell her straight."

Kyle's frown deepens. "That's not really advice, Ken."

I shrug and pull myself away from Stan, sending Kyle a wink. "Sorry, Dr. Phil, but it's the best I got." I turn back to Stan and give him a crooked smile. "There's only so much you can give Wendy in so much time, and it's eventually going to die out - but if you want to start your life with her now, there's no stopping you. There's no rush to move in together, either. You're nineteen, Stan, you've just got yourself a fairly steady college life, you can't afford to move out yet. Not without a full time job."

Stan nods his head solemnly and drops his chin to his chest. "You're right, Kenny. How would it even work?"

I zone out of the conversation and spend the time watching as Kyle gives his super best friend a sympathetic pat here and a nod of concern there. I watch with narrowed eyes as he pats Stan on the back and grins as Stan walks off, waving him goodbye. Fucking super best friends, well at least I have Kyle's full attention now.

"Poor Stan," Kyle murmurs as he turns to me.

Well, so much for his full attention.

I hum in response and bury my gloved hand into the snow as I settle onto a log - away from the super gay best friend moment. I can still feel it.

"What's up with you?" Kyle asks me, taking a seat beside me.

"Nothin'," I respond and Kyle nudges my knee with his. "Ky," I growl.

"Seriously, Ken, what's with the sand in your vagina?"

I'm about to smile before I realise why I'm pissed, I'm pissed because I'm not Stan, I'm pissed because even though Stan's not here, he still kind of _is_. I'm pissed because _I_ want Kyle's attention, and I do a shit load to deserve it.

"I'm tired," I lie.

Kyle nods and kicks the snow with his feet. "Me too," he admits, and I sigh. "It kind of sucks, you know? I hope I never get into a relationship like Stan's, where you have to decide everything for the other person. It must suck for him you kn-"

"Jesus _Christ_, Kyle." Kyle blinks rapidly at my outburst, and stumbles back on the log a bit as I throw myself up, arms flailing above me. "Does everything have to go back to Stan? Poor Stan this, oh Stan that. _Stan_, _Stan_, _Stan_! He's not the only goddamn person in the world, Kyle!"

"What's your problem, dude?"

"This is my problem, Kyle! Even if Stan's not here, it's always going to be about him. Can I not just spend time with _you_, Ky? Or do I have to lick Stan's ass too?"

"Whoa, Kenny, what the hell?"

"I'm sick of watching you kiss his ass, Kyle. All you do is talk about him, talk to him, spend your time with him. It's never just _us_ anymore, Kyle. It's always me, you and _Stan_. When's the last time we had a decent conversation that wasn't about Stan or with Stan, huh?"

"Well -"

"_Exactly_," I growl. "You know what, Kyle? Fuck this. I'm going home."

Kyle stands up as I turn away. "Wait a minute," he calls, and I stop. "You can't just go off on one for no reason and then storm off, Kenny. It doesn't work like that."

"I'm sorry I don't feel like sitting down and braiding each other's hair over this."

Kyle growls and pushes my shoulder before turning me around to face him. "What the fuck is your problem, dude? Since when were you so worked up about me spending some time with Stan? If you wanna hang out all you have to do is ask, Kenny. I'm more than happy to hang out with you, if that's the problem."

"My problem isn't Stan, Kyle. My problem is you." Kyle stumbles back as if I've pushed him and by the way his eyes widen, I can tell I've hurt him. "Wait a minute that came out wrong.."

"So explain then, Kenny, because I'm not going to sit here and be screamed at over _nothing_!"

"I _like_ you, okay? I really fucking like you, Kyle, but you're too dense or too up your boyfriend's ass to notice it! I'm spending most of the time trying to impress you, little flirting here, a little sly touch there. I'm doing what you want and you know what you see? Stan?"

"That's not true!"

"Yes it _is_, Kyle!" I throw my hands up again. "What did you take out of that? _Stan_. Not the fact that I just admitted _feelings_ for you! You wanna know the worst part, Ky? It's been almost seven goddamn years."

Kyle blinks and I run my hand down my face.

"Kenny, I don't know what to say," he admits. "I-It's not like that.."

"It's not like what, Kyle? You're just not a _fag_ like me?"

"No, Kenny, don't say it like that-"

"How do you want me to butter it up for you, Kyle?" I step closer to him, he backs up into a tree, and I surround him with my hands either side of his head. "Since we were thirteen I've harboured these stupid feelings, since I kissed you the first and _only_ time I've ever kissed you. Now what?"

Kyle holds his hands to his chest, and I can see his bottom lip quivering from the cold. "I don't know," he mumbles quietly.

"Now I admit it and you just think I'm a stupid fag."

Kyle shakes his head. "I don't think that, Kenny,"

"What then, Kyle?"

Kyle's hands start to shake, his eyes look anywhere but mine. "I-I-", he's stumbling over his words, trying to find what to say and I just bark a laugh in his face.

"That's what I thought. Don't worry, Kyle," I lean down to his ear, and breath hot breaths against it before taking his lobe into my mouth with a flick of my tongue. Kyle shudders, and I'm not sure whether it's from disgust or pleasure. "I won't infect you, not if you don't want it."

"Kenny," he mumbles, his hands finding my chest, his head falling into the crook of my shoulder. "Stop it," he whispers against me, fumbled and weak.

"Why?"

"This isn't how it's supposed to happen!" He screeches, and I pull back a little.

"What?"

"You're not supposed to tell me you like me just because you're jealous of my friendship with Stan," I open my mouth to intrude but Kyle holds up a finger and narrows his eyes, and shit, not even Satan could scare me like that. "Don't you dare try to deny it, Kenny, because I know you. You're not supposed to go on a rampage and start calling yourself shit and not give me a chance to _speak_."

I lick my lips and stare into hectic green eyes as they try to process the situation. His pupils grow and dilate and I lick my lips again.

"Speak then," I demand.

Kyle sighs. "I get it, Ken, you like me, but nothing is going to change how I am with Stan. We've been best friends forever, literally. All of us have but Stan's _always_ been there, Kenny. You've died - Cartman doesn't count - and even in our arguments, Stan has always had my back. That isn't changing, not even now."

"So what?"

"So," Kyle grits out. "What I'm trying to say is - I _get it_, Kenny."

I frown. "Kyle, I don't get what you're saying?"

"I like you too, damnit! But I didn't want it to go down like that, not over Stan, of all people! He's always gonna be around Ken, but as my _best_ friend, like Cartman's always gonna be around as a pain in this ass. Like _you're_ always gonna be around, a-as.."

I step forward, grinning. "As what?"

Kyle meets my steps and closes his eyes, a flush of red over his cheeks. "Mine," he mumbles and presses hesitant lips to mine and I don't hesitate from returning the kiss.

"Oh, _dude_!"

I break away from Kyle and turn to the sound of a gag and liquid hitting the snow. Kyle hides in my shoulder in embarrassment as we both witness Stan vomiting into the ground.

"I thought we were over this?" He says, shuddering, holding his fingers over the bridge of his nose.

I grin and pull Kyle to me. "Not in a million years, Marsh. Kyle's _my_ bitch now."

Stan blinks up at me and glances at Kyle, who pokes his head out and hits me firmly in the chest. "I'm no one's bitch," he growls, before looking back at Stan and smiling hesitantly. "This doesn't freak you out, does it, Stan?"

"Of course it freaks me out!" Stan retorts, flailing his arms in the air, but after he takes one look at Kyle's hurt face, he freezes and drops his arms, and pinches his nose again. "Look, dude, if it makes you happy go for it - just, don't suck face in front of me."

"But it's okay when you and Wendy do it?"

"That's different!"

"How?"

"Wendy isn't my two best friends. Speaking of which," Stan turns to me, full on. "Don't fuck it up."

I hold my hand up in surrender, keeping the other firmly on Kyle's ass.

"Not in a million years, Marsh."

I press a soft kiss to Kyle's temple and chuckle against it as Stan gags again.

"I'm gonna have to get used to this, wait 'til Cartman finds out.."

* * *

**Not sure what this was but I've read so much K2 lately, I had to do it - hope you'll be ready for some more of it soon. **


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